why is it....

that any time (which, by the way is very rare) i happen to cross paths with a male that i find remotely interesting i am thwarted by my own self.

for example, this summer:
we will call it the hammer pants/top knot incident in OK
here's the set up: i had a weird infection in my mouth that required i use numbing gel to avoid shocking pain every time i moved my jaw. it was crazy weather that turned my hair into a puffy mess that was making my neck sweat so it ended up in a top knot of sorts. because i was working in a cultural education center for youth, it was perfectly acceptable to be wearing indian hammer pants.
i was feverishly working on a giant foam puzzle of a world map yelling trash talk at the girls i was racing to completion when he walked in.
he had come to see me and a coworker/friend because he was in the area and heard that we went through the same overseas program as he did. he just wanted to stop by and say hi.
in our five minute encounter i lisped out, with a swollen and numb tongue, some incoherent ramblings that i am sure cemented the "this girl is unstable" vibe i was rocking.
so yay. top knot. hammer pants. giant foam puzzle. numb and swollen tongue, lisp included.
needless to say, never saw that one again.

need another example?
the set up: facial waxing gone wrong resulted in some strange blotchy bumpiness. long day of subbing for a junior high class that had not near enough work to keep them occupied - ergo - the immediate transition to ill-fitting, yet incredibly comfortable sweat pants. allergies and gusting wind convinced me to take out my crusty crust contacts and don my glasses that make me mega self conscious with their ...uhem...substantial... prescription.
i went to small group in my unkempt state thinking it would be a gathering of the usual suspects with whom i am entirely comfortable.
nope.
there was a visitor. an interesting one who happened to only be in town for a day but came with a friend. despite my raging insecurities due to my messed up face, googly eyed glasses and baggy butted sweats i went ahead and visited briefly with him. as we talked the effects of 20 bodies in a small room and the ceiling fan having been turned off started to make my face feel hot. and i know what that means. blushing. my sister and i share a fascinating ability to turn crimson red in the blink of an eye. it can be brought on by anything. alcohol. heat. laughter. embarrassment. talking in front of groups, walking at a quickened pace.... etc.
so yay. glistening red face. bumpy grossness on my upper lip. sweats. glasses. ...
see ya never, dude.


please, any insight into how to redeem this type of situation WHEN it occurs again would be appreciated.