new prayers

I like the new year. I guess there's not many people I know who don't like the new year.... but anyway, it always spurs on a lot of thought and inspiration...
Thoughts about restoration. Thoughts about new mercy every day. Thoughts about the faithfulness of God despite my unfaithfulness. Especially when I look back on the things I planned to do with the past year that never came to fruition. Making goals and organizing calendars and things always feels a little bit empowering. don't you think?
Not that there is anything magical about the turning of the year, but it is sort of encouraging knowing that you are unified with so many other people in the resolve to do better. Do more. Do good.

My hubbie and I went to see Les Miserables on the last day of 2012. It fueled and even reenforced a lot of the themes that were already bouncing around in my head. I'll be honest. It was a llloooong film with no talking.... allll singing. Even though we were wondering if it was ever going to end, we both looked back on it immediately as a great movie.
I was thinking about it again this morning and how crazy Javert's death was. It was like the entire story he was acting so righteously in his own mind. He had established what he thought good looked like and when Jean Valjean, a redeemed man, showed him mercy like he had never seen - he despaired. His world was wrecked. Everything he always thought he was living and fighting for was different than it seemed all of the sudden.
It reminds me of those prayers that we almost dare not pray. Like when we are having trouble forgiving and we ask God to let us see that person needing forgiveness the way he does.... look out. Because he will. And it might just throw us for a loop.

I was driving down I20 yesterday between Odessa and Midland. This stretch of road, and really, the area in general is not exactly scenic. Flat. Brown. Power lines and pump jacks and oil derricks as far as the eye can see behind a foreground of metal and portable buildings with big rigs and trucks parked all around. As I was taking in the lack of beauty I started asking God to show me the pretty things in this place. Admittedly, I have been down on Midland/Odessa lately and not even wanting the eyes to see it differently than previously described. And as my prayers devleoped I realized, that God doesn't have to show me some oasis in the middle of this desert or some glamour amidst this grime... in order to get attached to this place and enjoy it - all I need is to know God's presence. And then I realized that God's presence is what makes anything beautiful. And so instead of seeking entertainment and beauty - I ought to be seeking the Lord. And even Midland will be a beautiful place.