idiots have feelings too

my landlord talks like the godfather. raspy. quiet. death-bed-ish... oh yeah, and not in english. which, given that i have been learning to speak macedonian for 15 months, the language isn't so much the issue.
i told him about the problem with my washing machine. the one where every time i wash clothes my bathroom floor is flooded.
he called down the neighbor from upstairs.
this is the neighbor i have mentioned before. the one that has written me off as a total numbskull.
(granted, i did call him down that one time thinking my washer was broken but it turns out i just hadn't pushed the right button. and then there was the one time i left me key in my door. and then the other time there was like a 10 minute long miscommunication about whose apartment contained the nails i needed for a friend to hang a picture ...(but if they were in myyyyy apartment why would i be asking you to find them? huh?))
so anyways. this is the only washing machine/refrigerator repairman that missed the memo - so he where's high waisted britches with a belt. and i'm not saying that's a bad thing...
he comes down and says, "you having problems again?" in a tone that makes any rational human want to fly into a sarcastic defense mode. i just laughed and let him in.
then he asks me to take the laundry out of the machine. (okay that was my bad) but while i was taking it out, with an audience, my landlord asked if i had a basket to carry it with. i didn't answer right away and the neighbor said, "oh, she doesn't understand." i turned around and answered, "yeah i have one but it's in the other room."
then he said again, "she sill is just learning she really doesn't know much."
after he tipped the machine back, they asked for a flashlight. i said i didn't have one, but they asked again enunciating more clearly as if i had given some sort of nonsensical reply. i wanted to speak in slow broken syllables back but i just said, "let me see" and when on a mock search through drawers that, low and behold, contained no flash light.
so he asked for a candle. but he used a word for candle that i hadn't heard, so i said no. then he said it again using the word i know so i said, "oh, a candle. yes i have one" and the repairman burst out laughing.
landlord: what is funny?
repairman: i was just laughing because she doesn't understand you.

so i go and sit in the living room. feelings slightly damaged.

then they called me from down the hall to come and look.
so apparently i hadn't been checking my pockets very well. he had found a pipe containing five coins, four bobbie pins, and two clips.
what burned me up about it was that i was so wishing for just a regular legitimate problem that would maybe even redeem me from idiot-status... but nnnnnooooo. i am still donning the dunce cap in this man's mind, no doubt about it.
but then to add insult to injury he exclaimed, "well she's american so money means nothing to her. rich girl."

i won't lie. sort of wanted to smack his little monastic bald patch when he bent back down.


so finally, after a long process of getting it all back together with no shortage of comments and patronizingly small small-talk, he departed.

i think i will bake him cookies as a sign of gratitude for his trouble.
i just hope i don't leave out a vital ingredient or accidentally spill some toothpicks in the batter and fail to remove them all... or do something else that someone with my intelligence level would naturally do.