bizar-o world

so there i was....

i had just made it over the historic stone bridge. feeling on top of the world because i had somehow escaped the usual gantlet of little beggar boys that pat you down and frisk you under the pretense of hugs and smiles (last week they nearly made off with my tutor's bus pass. she snatched it from the boy's little sticky fingers before he got away, though)it was a victory. as i came upon the center of the square i saw the beginnings of a very dangerous and chaotic situation.

the red ranger... yes, i do mean power ranger. was making a b-line for jolly ol' saint nick from behind. he looked as though he had hostile intent. st. claus was just minding his business and getting shunned by small children. and then BAM! he was tackled by red ranger. the kids, that before couldn't care less about the old man, showed faces of shock and concern. red ranger stood up and pulled santa to his feet putting him in a rear-naked-choke hold he began to yell hysterically. only, no one could hear or understand him because of his helmet that covers his mouth...with a picture of a mouth






i steadily approached the scene thinking that maybe i would blend in with the fifteen other santa's that were patrolling the square (i was wearing a read jacket with a back belt). i got up pretty close to the hostage and his holder before they turned towards me.

my heart in my throat, i assessed the possible dangers:
if his plastic ray gun was loaded, i didn't know
but it appeared that the safety was off
to my rear was a man selling balloons and the doughnut stand. hot grease - can't flee that direction. to my left stood a family of onlookers. in front of me was the maniac red ranger and his bowl full of jelly-human shield.
but to my right was clear

i had my camera in my bag. seeing as how it weighs about 10.7 pounds, i decided that it would be my weapon of choice. if i can get close enough for it to make contact with red ranger's noggin, it would be lights out.

so i swallowed my heart and began to slowly ease my way towards them. as i inched, i talked in a calm voice (perfect macedonian, of course) and tried to negotiate some with red ranger.

from the corner of my eye i saw a small roma boy, who had apparently temporarily given up pick pocketing on the bridge to come and see what was happening. i subtly signaled him to circle round the back.

as i talk and created a diversion, boy-roma sneaked up from behind, he gave red ranger the patented pickpocket hug and began smiling and asking for 'decet denari... te molam. te mo-o-o-olam. edinstven, decet denari.'
(translation: 10 denari, please. pleeeease. only ten denari)

as red ranger tried to tisk-tisk him away and escape his mischievous grasp i grabbed onto father christmas's beard and yanked him to safety (glad the elastic band didn't snap!).

then in the blink of an eye i did a sweet spin-move and round house kick to remove the ray gun from red rangers hand.

after he was disarmed boy-roma took him down.


as soon as the authorities arrived the volatile situation had already be resolved and we were on our way to have turkish tea.
me. boy-roma. red ranger. and santa claus.
all for one. one for all.
yehaw.